I was going to soap today, but I’d get in his way. Tonight and tomorrow everything gets moved and a master sheet of where everything is will be up. Shipping in one spot, mineral makeup stuff in another. Soap stuff is still taking over the laundry room closet, cause all the oils can all be up off the floor and easy to get to. Lotion stuff, shampoo, conditioner and body buffers along with my non food microwave will be in the formulary.

I am so excited and happy about it. We want to move, we need to move, but it’s not happening till next Christmas. We wanted this Christmas, but time…where does it go?

How can you tell a new soaper? They buy every oil you ever heard of and try to use it without knowing everything about it. I’ve fallen into that trap. I knew I was staring up at the walls of a snake filled pit, when I got the Cherry Oil in the mail. Really? Cherry Oil? I think I ordered the GALLON of it, with the idea that I would take advantage of Michigan as the Tart Cherry Capitol and make something with dried cherries in it too.

Um, right. Not. Okay, so a smattering of dried chopped cherries on the top and what else? I came up with two ideas.

One, a creamy white soap with cherry oil, cherry scent, Palm Kernel Oil and Shea. That will be in the soap pot tomorrow.

The other…my Granola recipe turned into soap. Cherry Oil, Mango Butter, Coconut Oil, ground oatmeal, some sugar (goes in the lye water, BEFORE the lye, or it clumps. A titch of cinnamon on top and some cranberry and orange scent. Hmmm, maybe with dried oranges, then the soap, then a very skinny pencil line of cinnamon and cocoa powder in a pencil line and then the rest of the soap. How about some vanilla in one half of it to bring out the darker color that vanilla makes. What else goes into my granola? Honey! Honey can get really hot in the mold, but that’s what the fridge is for and milk powder to top it off. Ground coconut? I don’t know, but this is beginning to sound like a delicious kitchen soap and you can’t go wrong with that.

Last night I had the most vivid dream of my life. It was Eugene’s birth grandfather. He had some negative words for me, why has he not learned Spanish? I told him I would help Gene learn Spanish and the, whatever it was, was right. I am blowing that. I don’t speak Spanish. I speak French, badly.

He told Gene he was proud of him and that mistakes can be in the past if you change the future. He had a lot of stuff to say about going to school and he was sorry about the Tourette’s. Gene’s birth family does not know about Gene’s Tourette’s. I never felt a need to call and tell them. Talking to them is up to them, I was clear I would never bother them and to Gene, when he is 18.

I don’t remember dreams. This one was vivid. He told me he died of a heart attack recently and that Gene had to watch his weight. I know Gene’s grandfather had a heart attack a couple years before Gene was born. I know he was heavy.

I will talk yo Gene about it.

He also told me to fight for my son. I’m about to do battle with the school board over Gene’s placement, his accommodations, and his needs not to be bullied. I have several scary meetings coming up. I’m going to make a difference for Gene and we’re going to give him his confidence back. The grandfather also said that Gene would have successful treatment, but that he would still need to be pushed a little.

So, what do you think?

People are in fear. Fear of their food, water, cosmetics. Groups of people run around the internet telling people cosmetics are unsafe and we need a law. Maybe we do. However, the law now in committee is not a well written law. Rushed to the forefront by panicked people who rely on urban myth and fear to rule their lives.

On one of my groups this morning a woman stated that over seventy percent of the chemicals we place on our skin are absorbed by our bodies. As evidence, Hormone Treatment and Nicotine Patches. Makes sense, if hormones can get through. Doctors wish it were that easy.

The last layer of your skin, bottom up, is the, and I’m not making this up, “Horny Layer.” It’s a series of cells that interlock to keep things out and they do a hell of a job. Nicotine is one of those things that get through the skin and it’s not easy. Most stuff doesn’t. Want a silly to repudiate the 70% of chemicals get into our skin? Go swimming. If, after you dry off, you’ve not gained weight…there’s your common sense. Hormones are an exception.

Remember when we were so scared AIDs was going to kill us all if we touched someone with AIDs? My boss at the time, unbeknown to me, had HIV and it was rapidly worsening. He picked up an earring I dropped. I put it on. He was horribly upset. I didn’t know why until he died, less than a year later. That was over twenty years ago. I even had an ear infection at the time.

Our skin is tough, our bodies too. The people behind this bill don’t understand science and, in fact, some seem afraid of it. They worry, deeply about what they put on our bodies, but they have relied on bad studies, or supposition. Not hard science and not good double blind studies with control groups.

Why should you care? I’m a small businesswoman. The fees do take small business into account, but not for testing of some things. I estimate it would run me $80,000.00 to have everything I make tested independently. We would have to list all possible things that come into contact with our products on the label. While you may eat a juicy apple you washed, there’s a tiny amount of arsenic in that apple. Guess what would have to be on the label of my apple fresh soap with real apple juice? Will you buy a product, that even though is organic when I buy it, has arsenic on the label?

The big guys like this bill. It would put the little guys out of business and if you don’t think small business threatens big, you’re wrong.

The people behind this bill have good intentions. They want safe and good product on the faces and bodies of themselves and their children. The want it yesterday. They deserve that. I deserve that. However, we are already required, under penalty of fine to label every ingredient on our products except proprietary scents. I don’t mind telling you I use real peppermint oil in something. Most people who make stuff are thrilled with what we put in our products and proud of it. We’re transparent, good people who want to make money honestly to help our families. My business gives me an identity and a way to pay for my son’s needs when I am gone. Herne may never live on his own and a government funded group home is not good enough for him. I’m sorry, it’s not.

A sensible law, helping the consumer, helping the industry is a good idea, but cosmetics are safe in this country. Talc is the safest of products because of the rigorous screening it goes through now, but no one will use it. Because of a problem in one area over twenty years ago. There is no arsenic in talc. There is in apples.

I want a healthy country, but laws designed to hamstring small business feed the large companies who can afford the large fines. I’m in compliance with the FDA, because I want to be. I’ve re-done an area of my home and made it compliant. Not because the FDA could show up and cost me $8000.00 and shut me down, but because it’s what *I* owe my customers, who are welcome to come into my joyous chaos and watch me make soap. Heck, put on some gloves and make it with me.

Please, read the law. Then, if you think it will hurt business more than help with any problem, sign the petition. Please. I honor other viewpoints and am happy to post them, but all negative statements about any cosmetic must contain a cite to a real double blind study of a group large and diverse enough to show there’s an issue. It should be recent. I know that’s asking a lot, but the thought that anyone in the cosmetics industry is running around making you kill your=self wit makeup… Yes, big tobacco. Big Tobacco lied and hid. I don’t. If I make you ugly, it’s my creative outlet and livelihood. Nothing goes on the bodies and faces of my children that is not tested safe to my satisfaction.

Since I began this journey, science is a language I am eager to learn. My own multi-degreed, environmental activist and environmental engineer sister has admitted I know more about surfactants than she has ever learned. It’s more than a compliment, it was a mortarboard of pride I will always hold dear. She’s not exactly forthcoming with the rare moments that anyone knows more than she. I hold that to my heart like a banner of grace. Please help small business. We need it, you need us. We really do keep the big guys in check. Thank you.

Well, it’s yucky here, but thanks to the boys and the hubs (except for the top of the stove), I have a super clean kitchen. I’m going to run four batches of soap today and four tomorrow. Not counting the mini batches I’m trying in my turbo molds. It’s a soap day. I’ll shower first. I feel odd making soap if I’m not clean.

I also have to make shampoo bars. I’m out of shampoo I will use. I have shampoo, but I’m dang fussy about my hair and it’s (the poo) got to be perfect.

I was hoping to put together some other stuff, but it’s dependant on humidity and it’s sticky here. Rainy, yucky, you get it.

You know, it hit me that I should tell you what’s in the soap pot and do follow-ups. Today, I’m doing a Castille. A summer Castille with an orange swirl and citrus scent. I’m also thinking about a basic recipe, with 5% of the oils different in each batch. Olive Oil, Coconut Oil, Sustainable Palm and…Wheat Germ Oil, Castor Oil, Babbasu Oil, Mango Butter. No scent, just test the different oils in my basic batch. I was hoping to whip Mango Butter and Shea, but it’s too humid to whip butters.

Tomorrow, more soap and bubble bars. Lipbalms this week. I feel like I have this immense schedule and like it’s never going to come together.

Does the rain make you want to sleep, or go like the wind?

Start a business
Make something anyone would want to pay money for.
Aren’t those prices a little high? Shouldn’t you be selling stuff for your cost to just get any customers?
You can’t do it all.
You’re not smart.

I hear it all and I hear it a lot. The worst part? I begin to believe after a while. Enough knocks and I just can’t breath anymore without drawing in self degrading behavior and out my self esteem. It’s my fatal flaw. Daddy says, “you can talk yourself into and out of, everything.” He’s right.

I’d like to say I don’t need shots in the arm of, “good job,” every now and then, but you know what? I do.

I’m finally getting around to listening to, “How to Win Friends and Influence People,” by Dale Carnegie. It’s an interesting listen. I like my books on tape. I can crochet, or think, even pet the cat while I listen. It makes the point that bolstering the people around you lifts them up and you right along with them. An entire book that can be summed up to, “Catch people doing things right and applaud them.” Not just on the back, you’re perfect all the time. No one is. If they’ve done a good job, tell them so. Mean it and move on. Would it kill people to do that every now and then? Really?

Blush, four colors. Eyeshadow..back burnered. Why? People are mistrustful of companies that come out with eyeshadow first. It’s easy to buy a bag of color and repackage it. Problem is, it falls off unless you use an eye shadow primer and stuff it on there. So, they wait.

The facial primer is almost perfect. It’s resting for it’s independent lab tests in the fridge, my bathroom and my laundry room. If those batches survive in there, I’m good to go. I’ll know at Christmas time.

As usual, I’ve taken a big bite and it just got bigger. Politics happened at Genes possible promotion and I won’t say a negative word, but I sure as hell am thinking them, hard. I’m more upset than he is, but he was the best one for the job. It’ got into someone hiring his friend and it all seems a little odd, but that’s speculation. So, we stay in Ann Arbor and I get involved in local craft shows, as well as online. I expect no time off for the next year. Gene is heart and souling this as well. He’s a procrastinator, but when he does it, it’s great.

Once I’ve evolved a formula, he can and will make them. Grunt work with power tools. He’s also making me soap molds out of scrap lumber. I feel special about that. I keep staring at my new mold, with an askew top, like it’s the Mona Lisa. He made that, for me!!!!!! How awesome!

He and I are both really committed to a good go at this. Even if we don’t go out for a long time. Which we managed for the first time in months, on Saturday. Thank you son, for babysitting. He’s super responsible when he’s sitting his brothers, knowing when to take the time outs and when to let things go.

So, blogs. I had a lot of ideas, I’m boiling it down to this. Soap and makeup videos, one my Over Forty Princess channel on You Tube, blog postings here about life and a new blog about making makeup. Two reasons for that.

1. It’s doable by a lot of people. Doing it well, not as easy.
2. It keeps me transparent. I don’t have to worry about people wondering if I’m creating, cause I’m doing it on YouTube. Accusations of just selling colors without a way to make them stick, or mixing them, fly like mad when you are not super transparent. I’m going to be. I also need an accountant. Not this year, I’m a money pit for color, but next year.

Some people say I’ll hate shows. Maybe they would, but the interacting with the public, it’s almost like acting. I am my own cheerleader for stuff I love and use.

So, we’ve come to this. In the next week I’m starting a blog that will get a once a week post, called, “Start-up Bitch.” This is my documented journey into finding my voice as a salesperson and dealing with issues, even though I’m terrified to sell. I could wait for my stuff to be perfect, but my inner perfectionist is funny. She will leave dishes in the sink, but some stuff has to be perfect and some just has to be good. Right now, I have three soaps that I was going to color white and use as funky chunks in soap. Guess what? Too much whitener. I’ve thought about Oreo soaps, with a delightful; scent of chocolate from my cocoa butter. I will re-batch and mix it with the other recipe tp make it less like cake batter. I’m using the right amount of fragrance now. It was too light. So, some Essential oils and some Fragrance oils. I have a super chunky bar of blue spearmint with peppermint in the chunks. I think it’s going to rock. We shall see. Still need an actual gorgeous soap. I’m making long lasting creamy bars. I want beauty too.

I can’t believe at forty six I changed carrees. Changed them to things I’ve always to do. There is a ton of competition out there, but there is always room for someone who really wants it. I have avenues,, a geek husband and a lathering basic soap that is not pretty right now, but will be in future batches.

The other blogs. The Start Up Bitch is going to be about all the regs I have to follow and how I do my startup, so you can learn from my screwups. Up in a day, or so. Goddess Herbals and Glam Naturals will both feed into my soap, toiletries and makeup business. I want to get my romance site back working again. I’m really writing a lot of shorts these days and submit two stories a week for for Chicken Soup stuff.

I start writing my other blogs tomorrow and will post on the new moon. A universal symbol for death and birth.

I have a five year plan now. If I can’t gut out for five years. this i a picey hobby.

Oh, I’m making two shampoos as of now. Three, oops. A thick conditioning shampoo in a jar and make is really good for coarse hair. Another is a synthetic shampoo bar. I’ve added some amazing oils and butters for that. I’m also making a soap shampoo bar. They don’t work on everyone, bu this will be bubbles galore and good for your scalp. Vinegar rise with conditioners and thickeners included.

Maybe citric acid? No vinegar smell. I’m dead excited till Sunday. I formulate all my lip balms. solid shampoo and coffee soap.

This is melt and pour. I wish I’d used a lighter mold, so the colors dried faster, but I still like the way it turned out. I’m not a melt and pour goddess. I used to love it, but there are some people out there making art, and this is not art.

The smell is Monkey Farts, available in a lot of soap scent stores online. I got mine from Majestic Mountain Sage. Colors from TKB Trading. Easy, easy, easy. I can post the instructions and will, later this week.

Reese loved that his picture was on all the labels for his bath products. I wish I’d gotten pics of the whole present. There was a monkey that was purple and you use it as a scrubby in the tub, bubble bars, Bubble Gum lip balm, dinosaur duckies and shampoo that smells like Monkey Farts (bananas, papaya, passion fruit, pineapple).